If your cat licks you all the time, here’s the reason
Cats are amazing creatures, and if it were up to me, we’d have at least three at home. Growing up with cats, you can’t help but notice their quirky — and sometimes downright weird — behaviors. I actually had a cat that loved licking everyone in the family. I can still remember that rough, almost sandpaper-like feeling when her tongue brushed against my fingers.
So why do cats do this? After all, cats spend up to 8% of their waking hours grooming themselves (and around half their day napping), so licking is totally normal. But why do they choose to lick you instead of themselves or another cat? What does it really mean when your cat licks you?
Cats’ licking behavior can feel puzzling, and scientists haven’t completely pinned down why they do it. But there are several theories that might explain why your furry friend can’t stop licking you.
It’s likely not because you smell like a tasty snack or because your cat thinks you’re dirty. In fact, there are several reasons cats lick their humans, and most of them are just their way of showing love.
1. Your cat is showing affection
One common reason is simple love. Licking can be an affiliative behavior—a way cats show friendship and care. Just like mother cats groom their kittens, or cats groom each other (called allogrooming), your cat may be licking you to strengthen your bond and nurture your relationship.
2. Your Cat Wants Attention
Let’s be honest: licking gets a reaction. If you talk to your cat, pet them, or otherwise respond when they lick you, they quickly learn that this behavior brings attention. Sometimes, it’s their way of saying, “Hey! Notice me!”
3. Your cat sees you as part of the group
Cats communicate a lot through scent. Mother cats often lick their kittens to create a shared family smell, and your cat might do the same with you, marking you as part of their “clan.”
4. Kitten behavior lingers
Kittens knead and suckle while nursing. If your cat was weaned too early, licking you can mimic that comforting nursing experience. You might also notice them kneading or purring while they lick, a throwback to their kitten days.
5. Your cat likes the taste
Sometimes, cats simply enjoy the way you taste. Skin and hair can carry interesting scents, lotions, shampoo, or even sweat, which contains sugar and salts cats may find appealing. Just be careful, some topical products can be toxic to cats, so don’t let them lick after you’ve applied anything harmful.
6. Your cat is anxious
Licking can also be a stress response. Known as a displacement behavior, it’s a way for your cat to soothe themselves. Usually, stress shows up as excessive self-grooming, but it can be directed at you, too.
Pay attention to triggers — guests, loud noises, or changes in routine — and if the licking gets compulsive, consider talking to your vet.
7. Medical reasons might be behind it
Excessive or sudden licking can sometimes signal a medical problem. Pain, nausea, or discomfort may cause a cat to lick you or objects around them. If the behavior is new or extreme, a vet check is always a good idea.
8. How to stop it
If you’re trying to get your cat to stop licking you, don’t push them away or punish them. They won’t understand what they did wrong, and it could make them anxious, which might lead to even more unwanted behaviors.
Instead, when your cat starts licking, redirect their attention to something they enjoy. Try brushing them, tossing their favorite toy, or engaging them in play. This way, they can still bond with you, without your skin having to endure that sandpaper-like tongue.
The Old Man Walked Into the Shelter and Asked for the One No One Wanted — “I’ll Take the Mean One,” He Said Quietly, But the Night He Collapsed Alone at Home, It Was the Cat Everyone Feared Who Refused to Leave His Side and Changed Everything
The Old Man Walked Into the Shelter and Asked for the One No One Wanted — “I’ll Take the Mean One,” He Said Quietly, But the Night He Collapsed Alone at Home, It Was the Cat Everyone Feared Who Refused to Leave His Side and Changed Everything
The first time I saw her, she wasn’t just sitting in the back corner of that county shelter—she was watching the world like it had already disappointed her beyond repair, like every pair of footsteps that had ever passed her cage had confirmed a quiet, stubborn belief that nothing good was coming, and that she had better be ready for that.
For 204 days, that’s what she had done.
She had watched people walk in asking for kittens with round eyes and soft fur, watched children press sticky hands against glass while their parents laughed and said, “Something friendly, something easy,” watched volunteers lower their voices when they reached her enclosure as if the mere act of speaking normally might provoke her into proving every rumor they had spread about her—that she scratched, that she bit, that she could not be trusted, that she was, in the softest and most polite way possible, a problem no one wanted to bring home.
Her fur was uneven, not in a way that suggested neglect alone but in a way that hinted at a life that had not been gentle, her left ear carried a jagged tear that never quite healed cleanly, and her yellow eyes—sharp, unwavering, impossible to soften—met every gaze with the same unspoken challenge: I will not beg you to choose me.
Most people didn’t.
And then one morning, when the air still carried that thin, biting edge of early winter and the shelter smelled faintly of disinfectant and stale coffee, a man walked in who did not look like he belonged among hopeful adopters searching for companionship as much as comfort.
He was seventy-six, though he moved with the slow caution of someone who had learned the hard way that a single misstep could change everything, his shoulders bent just slightly forward as if life had pressed on them for years without ever fully letting up, his boots worn in the specific way that suggested decades of standing rather than walking, and tucked carefully into the pocket of his shirt was a small plastic pillbox that he touched every few minutes without seeming to notice he was doing it.
His name, I would later learn, was Leonard Hayes.
Behind him came his daughter, Evelyn, whose voice carried the kind of worry that had hardened into frustration over time, her words spilling out in that careful balance between concern and impatience that only family members seem to master.
“You cannot keep living like this,” she said, not loudly enough to cause a scene but loudly enough that everyone within ten feet understood that this conversation had happened before and would likely happen again.
Leonard did not argue immediately. He shifted his weight, adjusted the paper bag in his hand—a bag of cat food he hadn’t yet purchased, as if he had already made a decision before stepping through the door—and then he exhaled slowly.
“That’s exactly why I need a cat,” he muttered, more to himself than to her, though she heard it anyway.
Evelyn pressed her lips together. “You fell last month. You forget your medication. The house is too big for you. You can’t fix loneliness with an animal.”
He tapped the pillbox lightly. “I forget because nobody lets me remember on my own.”
There was something in the way he said it—not defiant, not even particularly strong, but steady—that made the room feel quieter for a second, as if even the distant barking had paused to listen....
I Went to Pick Up My Wife and Twins—What I Found Was A Note And Only The Babies, It Left Me Stunned
When I saw them, my heart began to sing. In terms of balloons, both the nursery at home and the car were overflowing with them. It’s hard to believe that the nursery was so clean.
While we were getting ready to meet our new family member, Suzie’s favorite songs were playing softly on a well-made mix. The music was very well put together. I was determined to make Suzie’s return home even more memorable than it already was because of what she had been through while she was pregnant. I knew how hard things had been for her.
That being said, I couldn’t say a word when I got to her hospital room because of what was going on. No matter if my girls Emily and Grace were sleeping soundly in their bassinets or not, Suzie was still nowhere to be found.
There was only one piece of paper on the table next to the bed, and the room was awfully quiet. A pretty small amount of work was done. I was so excited that my hands shook when I grabbed it. It was easy to read her handwriting, but the lines were very strange:
Leaving. Make sure that they stay safe and healthy. It would be best for you to look into why your mother did the things she did to me.
Not long after, anxiety began to creep in. I ran right to the nurses’ station to ask her where she was because I wanted to know where she had gone. She checked out that morning, and I told them I had everything they sent. All of them said I wasn’t. I didn’t know why she was leaving, and this was definitely not how she was leaving. Everyone was shocked when she left. At least, that’s how I thought she felt about how much she enjoyed it.
Everyone Watched in Silence as I Hugged the Boy Who Took My Daughter’s Life — But What I Said in Court Changed Everything
I was standing in that courtroom wearing my leather vest, holding a sixteen-year-old boy in an orange jumpsuit while an entire room stared in disbelief. Marcus clung to me, shaking, his face buried in my chest. The judge looked bewildered, the prosecutor looked outraged, and my wife was crying quietly on the back row.
“Mr. Patterson,” the judge said, choosing his words carefully, “this young man has just pleaded guilty to vehicular manslaughter. He took your daughter’s life. He was intoxicated. He altered your family forever. Would you explain to the court why you are embracing him?”
I did not release Marcus. I just tightened my grip to steady him. “Your Honor,” I said, “before you sentence him, I would like to make a statement.”
The judge nodded. The room fell silent.
Only then did I step back, keeping close enough that Marcus knew he was not alone. My hands trembled as I turned toward the courtroom. For half a year, I had dreaded this moment. Six months since the crash. Six months since we buried my daughter.
“My daughter, Linda, was seventeen when she died,” I began. “She was driving home from a friend’s house late on a Saturday night. It was around eleven. Marcus ran a red light at seventy miles an hour. He was impaired. He hit her driver’s side door. She died on impact.”
Marcus made a broken sound behind me. Somewhere in the gallery, his mother let out a soft cry.
“The police told me Linda never saw the collision coming. That she felt no pain. People said that as though it would ease anything. It didn’t. Nothing eased it. My daughter was gone, and this boy was responsible.”
The prosecutor nodded approvingly, believing my words reinforced his request for a fifteen-year sentence to make Marcus an example.
“But three months ago,” I continued, “something changed. Marcus’s mother delivered a letter to our home. She stood on my porch in tears, begging me to read what her son had written.”
I withdrew a worn envelope from my vest. I had unfolded and refolded it enough times to crease every edge. “This letter explained something the authorities never told me. Something I did not know until I read his words.”
The judge leaned forward. “What did the letter say?”
I unfolded it slowly. “It said Marcus was never meant to be driving that night. He was supposed to be home. But he received a call from his closest friend, who was drunk at a party and preparing to drive. Marcus went there to stop him. He ordered an Uber for his friend. Paid for it with money he had saved for a school trip. Watched him get into the car.”
I turned toward Marcus. He was staring at the floor, tears dripping silently.
“What Marcus did not know,” I continued, “was that someone at the party slipped a drug into his drink. He thought he was drinking soda. Toxicology confirmed it—he had rohypnol in his system. He was drugged without his knowledge.”
A quiet shock filled the courtroom.
“He believed he was sober when he got into the car. He had no idea what was in his bloodstream until he woke up in the hospital after the crash.” My voice unsteady now. “He did not know he had taken a life. He did not know he had taken my daughter’s life.”
“When they told him, he attempted suicide. He dismantled part of the hospital bed and tried to hang himself. He was stopped. Placed on suicide watch. And every day since then, he has written letters—letters to my wife and me—expressing remorse, begging for forgiveness, telling us he wished he had died instead.”
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. At sixty-three years old, I was crying openly before a room full of strangers.
“I wanted to hate him,” I said. “I wanted him to be someone I could direct my grief toward. But he wasn’t the villain I tried to make him. He was a kid who went to a party to protect a friend, who was drugged without knowing it, who made a tragic mistake, and who now has to live with consequences that would break most adults.”
The judge spoke gently. “Mr. Patterson, what are you asking for?”
I looked at Marcus. “I’m asking you not to send this boy to prison. I’m asking for mercy. For rehabilitation. For a chance at redemption.”
The prosecutor rose to object, but the judge silenced him. “Sit down. I want to hear the rest.”
“My daughter wanted to be an EMT,” I continued. “She volunteered at the fire station. She kept a first-aid kit in her car at all times. She lived to help others. She would never want her death to destroy another young life. She’d want grace, not vengeance.”
“I met Marcus in juvenile detention three months ago. I wanted to look at the person who killed my child. And what I saw was not cruelty. What I saw was devastation. A boy who could not sleep or eat because of what he had done. A boy who told me he wished he had died instead.”
“So I began visiting him weekly. I told him about Linda—about her childhood, her dreams, the kind of person she was. And Marcus told me about who he wanted to be. He wants to counsel young people. He wants to talk about impaired driving, about drugged drinks, about how a single moment can change everything.”
I held up several documents. “Linda’s best friend wrote a letter supporting leniency. Linda’s EMT instructor offered Marcus a community outreach position. My wife wrote a letter asking that Marcus be placed in our custody while he finishes school and completes community service.”
The courtroom erupted with disbelief.
The judge leaned back. “Let me be clear, Mr. Patterson. You want the teenager who killed your daughter to live in your home?”
“Yes,” I answered. “My wife and I both do.”
“Why?” the judge asked.
“Because someone must stop the cycle of pain. Because hate won’t bring Linda back. Because my daughter believed in second chances. And because this boy deserves an opportunity to rebuild his life, not be abandoned to a system that will destroy him.”
I placed a hand on Marcus’s shoulder. “He did not intentionally take my daughter’s life. He was drugged. He made a terrible mistake. And he has paid for it every day since.”
The judge studied us for a long moment. “I need time to consider this.”
After a three-hour recess, the courtroom filled again, even spilling outside. When the judge returned, he delivered his decision.
He placed Marcus on ten years’ probation, ordered two thousand hours of community service, mandatory counseling, educational requirements, and speaking engagements. He assigned Marcus to live with us under supervision and warned that any violation would send him to prison for the remainder of the original sentence.
And then the gavel fell.
That was three years ago.
Marcus is nineteen now. He lives in Linda’s old bedroom. He graduated high school with honors. He attends community college, studying counseling. He works at the fire station doing safety outreach. He speaks to students about impaired driving and the dangers of drugged drinks. He has prevented six suicide attempts by teenagers who sought him out after hearing his story.
Last year, my wife and I adopted him. He became part of our family—not as a replacement for Linda, but as a living extension of the compassion she believed in.
People often ask how I forgave him. How I welcomed him into my home. How I came to love the boy responsible for our greatest loss.
The truth is simple: forgiveness was the only path that allowed me to live again.
Marcus and I ride motorcycles together now. We talk about life, grief, and the daughter I lost. He visits Linda’s grave every week and tells her about the lives he’s helping.
Just last month, he stopped another teenager from driving drunk. Called an Uber. Made sure the kid got home safely. When he returned to our house, he was crying, telling us he had finally completed the act he meant to do the night Linda died—he saved someone.
The judge once asked why a biker was holding the boy who killed his daughter. The answer is this:
Because mercy is stronger than vengeance.
Because forgiveness heals what hatred destroys.
Because my daughter would want this boy to be saved, not lost.
Because even the deepest wounds can lead to redemption when someone chooses love over hate.
Marcus will carry the weight of what happened forever. But he does not carry it alone. We carry it with him, as a family, proving that even the darkest moment can lead to something meaningful when compassion takes the place of bitterness.
That is why I embraced him in that courtroom.
And that is why I embrace him every day.
He is no longer only the boy who took my daughter’s life.
He is the young man striving to honor her through the life he builds.
He is my son.
And I am proud of who he is becoming.
